Writing Practice Test 4: Task 1
Real student answer and comments.
This answer was written by a student from Brazil:
Dear James,
How are you doing? As you know, I’ve moved to my new house and I want to tell you about this amazing place.
First of all, the house is awesome. It is huge and has a beautiful backyard with a mini-park for my children and a garden. The house has also two floors: the first contains four bedrooms and a bathroom in each, while on the second floor there are an enormous living room, a kitchen and a visit room.
One other thing that a really appreciated was the neighbourhood because it has so many facilities like a pharmacy, a supermarket, a medical center and a gas station. As I told you, it’s a very nice place.
I really want you to come to my home. Bring your wife and we can have a BBQ this weekend.
I’m looking forward to your visit. Take care and see you soon.
(150 words)
COMMENTS
Task achievement: the student has achieved the task well. All three bullet points have been covered, although the second (describe the neighbourhood) lacks some detail. The tone is appropriate throughout.
Coherence and cohesion: paragraphing is managed well, and ideas are arranged logically. The student has used a range of linking words and devices such as first of all, while and one other thing. Grammatical linking devices such as pronouns are used well.
Lexical resource: the vocabulary is adequate for the task and is flexible enough for language to be fairly precise (a beautiful backyard, so many facilities), but could have shown more range. Spelling is flawless.
Grammatical range and accuracy: the candidate has used a few complex sentences, but most are simple. Most sentences are error-free and mistakes in word order (has also) and subject verb agreement (there are an enormous living room) do not affect understanding. Another error appears to be a slip (a really appreciated). Punctuation is handled extremely well.
This candidate would be likely to get a high score in the exam.
Writing Practice Test 4: Task 2
Native speaker model answer
In countries such as Australia, there are two types of schools for primary and secondary students: public (government) schools and private schools. Private schools still typically receive funding from the government, something I believe is wrong and should end immediately.
The first reason government funding to private schools should be discontinued is simple fairness. Private schools already receive a great deal of money from their tuition fees, not to mention the large donations they are often given by wealthy alumni. To add government money to this is patently unfair to public schools, who often struggle to pay for materials and quality teachers.
Secondly, private schools should not receive money because they are not subject to the same controls as public institutions. They might teach subjects that go against the public interest, and many religious private schools discriminate against students who do not practise their religion. They should not, therefore, receive money that comes from taxpayers.
Finally, I believe that giving money to private schools is likely to lead to the erosion of the public system. Parents naturally want the best for their children, and so they will fight to send them to private schools that have more resources. In the end it may be impossible for the government to maintain the public school system, which would be a disaster for poorer families.
In conclusion, I feel very., strongly that the funds which go to private schools would be better used if they went towards improving the quality of our public schools, many of which are greatly in need.
[258 words)
