Writing Practice Test 3: Task 1
Native speaker model answer
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Danielle Waters. I have been a customer at your bank, Honest Savings and Loans, for close to seven years. I am writing today because the recent credit card statement I have received from you is completely incorrect.
According to the statement, I spent $500 on sporting equipment on August 2nd. This is ridiculous, as I have no interest in sport and have never in my life purchased any sporting goods. Moreover, the statement claims I bought this equipment in a shopping centre in Sydney, but I was in Perth at the time. Clearly, someone has gained access to my credit card details and used them to make expensive purchases in my name.
Please remove these false charges and any associated interest immediately. Unless you do so, I will be forced to contact the Consumer Protection Bureau. I would also like a new credit card sent out to me as soon as possible.
I thank you in advance for dealing with this matter promptly.
Writing Practice Test 3: Task 2
Real student answer and comments
This answer was written by a student from Russia:
Today the show business has reached an ineffable level compared to what was decades ago and, consequently, the celebrity life has become an object of extreme interest which attracts tactless and ubiquitous paparazzi to invade their privacy. Some could argue that celebrities have to have rights on private life whereas others consider it is the price they agreed to pay for being famous.
It is undisputable that people intruding on your territory, trying to take a picture of your every movement could, to put it mildly, irritate. Apart from great annoyance, the feeling of the constant chase could eventually lead to different sorts of mental disorders. As a result, celebrities themselves and their families would suffer. From this point of views, it is crucial to clarify to what extent could paparazzi should invade celebrities· privacy. Moreover, this clarification must be written in laws so that photographers had an idea of probable repercussions in case of violation of the laws..
However, famous people should not expect the Legislation to protect all parts of their lives. The fame they have got requires them to give their fans something back. Making the decision to become a star is considered as volunteer and this means that a wannabe celebrity understands which consequences his or her popularity would have.
In conclusion, even though the attention to celebrities· lives is exacerbated by media workers trying to pictures every its moment and going sometimes over the norms of civilized behaviour, celebrities in their turn should understand that it is the price they agreed to pay for being on the cover of tabloids.
Task response: the task response is appropriate, and ideas are supported and developed well. A clear position is presented. Length is appropriate.
Coherence and cohesion: paragraphing is achieved well, and ideas are logically arranged. A wide range of linking words and devices have been used including whereas, as a result, moreover and however. Grammatical links such as pronouns and articles are used extremely well.
Lexical resource: the candidate has used a very wide range of vocabulary, including a number of less common items such as ubiquitous, to put it mildly, repercussions and exacerbated. While there are some problems with word form [undisputable), register (wannabe) and word choice (an ineffable level]. vocabulary is generally handled very well, with a good understanding of collocation. Spelling is flawless.
Grammatical range and accuracy: the candidate has used a variety of complex structures such as relative clauses, passives and noun clauses. Errors that occur in articles (the show business). singular/plural (from this point of views) and word order (every its moment) do not affect understanding. Punctuation is controlled well.
This candidate would be likely to receive a high score in the exam.
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